I’m Alive

I think Paul is one of my favorite writers in the Bible. He is a man prone to talking in passionate extremes, and the first chapter of Philippians is no exception. Paul is discussing his imprisonment in Rome in this letter written to the church at Philippi. He realizes that this may be the end of his life and is exploring his feelings on that possibility. 

Read the passage from 1:21-26 is whatever version you like, but I’m going to walk through it in The Message version with you. 

“Alive, I’m Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his prize. 

Life versus even more life! I can’t lose. 

As long as I’m alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. 

If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I’d choose. 

Hard choice!

The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. 

Some days I can think of nothing better. 

But most days, because of what you are going through, I am sure that it’s better for me to stick it out here.”

Paul is in a pickle. A life and death dilemma. He longs to leave this world and be with Jesus, but he also knows there are good works for him to still do.

Have you ever felt like that? Overwhelmed to the place that you’d just rather be dead than keep on this rat race of life? 

I have. Lots of times. It wasn’t that I necessarily wanted to end my life, but I wasn’t too thrilled with living anymore, either. 

Paul was of course in much more dire circumstances than most of us will ever face, but we’ve all felt that way. 

My proposal to you?

There is a reason you are still here. There is a reason that the LORD is continuing to give you each breath. What is it? That’s not for me to say. That’s between you and him. 

It can be so so easy to get caught up in 100 things we are NOT supposed to be doing. We get stuck in a life full of “I’m just so busy” and sooner or later that anxiety sets in. 

We all have an excuse. 

We know we should slow down, we know we should be helping others. 

The “right now” that most of us are living in is NOT where we want to be. 

Why is that? 

Why are you living a life you don’t love? Why aren’t you doing the things you are supposed to be doing? 

What is your excuse? 

Those are tough questions, but ones worth answering.