When my anxiety is great…
When my anxiety was great within me YOUR COMFORT brings me joy.
Another beautifully poetic verse from psalms plucked right out of the Bible.
The AMP version puts it like this:
“When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comforts delight me.”
Psalms 94:19
My anxious thoughts were multiplying out of control this morning.
I wasn’t even upset. I woke up pretty happy. But somewhere between chopping sweet potatoes for breakfast and seeing the disheveled state of my backyard, an anxiety attack started building.
I couldn’t think anymore and my hands went weak. I set down the task I was working on and moved onto something that seemed less stressful: cleaning the floor.
As I vacuumed I had a funny thought:
“When my anxiety was great within me, cleaning the house brought me joy”
I chuckled inside my mind as I mentally crossed out the words “cleaning the house” and replaced them with “your comfort”
My distractions and coping mechanisms don’t actually solve the problem.
Sure, I feel a little better when I ignore the responsibilities that seem overwhelming and pick up a good book. Sure, getting lost down the rabbit trail of social media scrolling can take my mind away for awhile. Sure, a sugary snack will hit the pleasure center of my brain.
But will any of that bring me joy?
Will any of those things fix the cause of my anxiety?
Anxiety is kind of a joke these days. Everyone seems to have it and it has become an excuse for everything.
But as long as we just keep making memes about it and telling ourselves “it’s just how I am” then nothing will change.
I used to be one of those people.
I weirdly thought it was cool to have mental health issues. It added to my edginess.
Now that I’ve lived free of it for a long time I realize how explicitly dumb that idea is.
Sure I have my moments of anxiety that jump up from time to time, but now that I know freedom I am prepared to do whatever it takes to remain in that place of freedom.
For me, that means to let go of cleaning the house, eating junk food,
and scrolling on social media to calm my fears.
If I can train my mind and body to refocus on the supplier of my joy and not the distractions I think I need, then I am retraining my brain to live without anxiety..
That doesn’t mean the anxiety won’t come.
It just means now I have a battle plan that doesn’t focus on the meaningless distractions, but instead the freedom and joy that I have only found through Jesus Christ.
What does my battle plan look like?
It starts with scripture hidden in my heart that has become such a part of me that no matter the situation I can pull it out of my back pocket and hurl it at the enemy.
It also looks like watching what I put into my body and mind. This includes everything from food and products I put on my skin to what media I watch and who I allow to speak into my life. I talked about that in this post here.
Another weapon I have available to me? Transforming my mind. Understanding that past ways of thinking do not align with how YHWH thinks about me and allowing my mind to be transformed and renewed by him.
The journey out of anxiety is just that: a journey.
Jesus DID NOT die for you to live in anxiety. It isn’t something to just live with until you are healed in heaven.
Your healing and freedom is available to you here on this earth.
The question is, are you ready for it?
